The Control Monster
I love this quote. It's quite true. By nature, I am a person that likes control. Maybe its a first born, type A thing. Maybe its the way I was raised. Who knows. Its been a struggle in my marraige and in my spiritual life.
Several years ago Bryan had planned a surprise beach trip for our anniversary. Usually, he's not the best secret keeper, so I tend to find out if he's got something up his sleeves. But this one got by me. We headed out of town after dropping Leah off at my parents house. I was fuming. All he told me was that he had a surprise. I had no idea where we were going, who was going to be there, if I had packed correctly, etc. I was mad the entire trip. Even when we got there. I know he was only trying to surprise me and make me happy, but I ruined it. I look back now and realize I was completely in the red of the "control freak" meter. I've mellowed out since then. Not completely, but I have, really.
Every once in a while I'll catch myself in the control monster facad. Even in my spiritual life. "Now God, for this to work, it has to go like this.." Who am I to talk to God like that? I'm pretty sure God just shakes his head and says "Oh, she's at it again, when wil she learn?" As we started this adoption process, I found myself talking to God like that. For about a week, I was so discouraged. Nothing had gone like I planned. Then I looked at that control meter and saw it in the red again. I had to rearrange my mind and let God have it.
These past three weeks have been very busy. After I decided I had to render control to God, things started moving. Within a few days, Bryan got several calls for side jobs. Some that will pay some pretty decent money for our adoption. People have made HUGE donations to our yard sale. My garage is jam packed with stuff right now! And people keep bringing it in! Bryan keeps getting calls for side work. God is good. Learning to trust is an ongoing thing that I constantly have to work on. But when I trust, He always succeeds.
Our church's Ladies Bible Study started up last week. We are using the book by Kay Arthur, "Lord, I want to know you." The first lesson was about the names of the Lord. We talked about the definitions and scriptures of each name. One in particular stood out to me. You've probably heard it. JEHOVAH JIREH. It means "The Lord will provide." I have definitely seen HIm provide over the past few weeks. I can't say how much it means that people have been so supportive. Especially since we are taking a less traditional path.
We have submitted our application to the NEDC in Knoxville, TN. We received a packet that gave us loads of stuff to do. We have to go through some medical testing, some bloodwork, and tons of paperwork. Our next big step though, is to have a home study done. I am in the process of trying to schedule that.
From what I understand, the entire process should take about six months, from application to the actual embryo transfer. Of course, its all in God's timing, and according to the funds we recieve and save along the way.
The yard sale in Donalsonville is still scheduled for October 2-3 at the Nazarene Church. We will begin at 7am on both days. Like I said, we have TONS of stuff, so it will be a huge yard sale. If you're in the area please share this info. We will also be placing an ad in the Donalsonville News. We have kids clothes, household items, baby items, appliances, furniture, tools, wreaths, homemade baked goods, and homemade crocheted items donated by my sister-in-law, Amy and my mother-in-law, Diana.
We currently have about $400 saved. What we make at the yard sale will go towards paying for the home study which will be around $1500.
Again, thank you all so much for your support and prayers! We love you all! Please like and share this post to get the word out about our fundraisers!
-Whitney